Hypoxia and Medicine

Whats wrong with me this has ruined my life?

I have depression, adhd, and anxiety I have been dealing with it all of my life at the age of six I was labeled and introduced to paxil and seroquil for sleep my mom not knowing what to do didn’t fill the prescription for seroquil and substituted it with benadryl and sleepy time tea that worked for a while but I quickly built a tolerance. I started paxil at age six because I was a depressed child with anxiety and sever agitation. The paxil took effect helped my depression but severely increased my anxiety and made me irritable. I was on and off medication the benefits were not worth the side effects. We decided to take me off medication until I was older if it was necessary. I had on and off insomnia all my life we would treat it with benadryl but honestly that did not put a dent in it. When I was younger I had social anxiety issues I would not go near people I did not know. The only people I would trust was my family and my best friend Kassie my next door neighbor. Kids from my class would always try to talk to me outside of school at the grocery store or after the bell rang I would avoid them at all cost. I honestly believe I wouldn’t take the chance to befriend them because I was taught at school all strangers are bad stranger danger. I had an anxiety disorder so little things like that would rule my life. As time went by I realized that I needed to communicate with people and make friends. I became more assertive and happier. Every grade I was closer to being a normal kid whatever that is. By the seventh grade I had many friends. Everything was going good. But my perfect grades started to slip. I went from all A’s to all C’s and eventually I was failing. I had not changed any study habits I just couldn’t make heads or tails of the work. I told my mom I was spacing out I would be doing the work and my mind would wander away and I would just stare out into space. I would be on the same problem as everyone else go into lola land look up at the overhead and all of a sudden there five problems ahead. I went to my doctor for a check up my mom mentioned what was happening to the doctor. We got a referral to see a neurologist and found out I was having absence seizures. I was put on topamax and lost nearly 20 pounds I got a little underweight. We scheduled an EEG without the medication to see if I had any seizure activity I didn’t thank god I was able to discontinue the top Amax. The neurologist gave me a test and said I had many symptoms of GAD and ADHD. She started me on focal in 20mg and lexapro 10mg. I was doing ten times better in school and was happier than ever but me and anti depressants don’t go together well I developed tics a discontinued the lexapro they instantly were gone. My anxiety freaked out I don’t know what happened I blamed the focal in and started to skip them and give them to my friends. I was going crazy the closest thing that describes the way I felt and still feel is the symptoms of severe akathisia it can cause extreme anxiety and uneasiness to the point that suicide may result. Akathisia can occur for no apparent reason or may be induced by certain drugs. If you’ve ever paced a hospital floor waiting for bad or good news about a sick or ailing loved one, or have been so nervous about something you couldn’t sleep, you’d have a good sense of what akathisia feels like. Some people develop the condition when given SSRIs. In this state, people are more likely to kill themselves or to try than they are when they are in a depressed state. They feel they must do something to make the restlessness stop, because there isn’t a single second of rest from it. This is exactly what I feel like they told me I don’t have it but I can’t imagine something else that would cause the exact same symptoms. I had these feelings and the doctor was no help I took matters in my own hands and started drugs. I took six of my dad’s 10mg valium hoping for just a few minutes of relief. I got just that and a trip to the hospital. I can’t honestly say that it wasn’t worth the relief. I still feel like this I don’t know how to fix it or if it can be fixed it has made my life living hell. Id rather die than keep on feeling like this I would be dead if I didn’t have family to worry about. The only couple of things that help are currently illegal or unavailable. I honestly have tried almost every anxiety medicine the only legal thing that puts a dent in this feeling is valium. Xanax and colonzapam actually make it worse. The only thing I have ever come into contact with that completely rids this horrible feeling is marijuana but medical marijuana is currently illegal in Texas. Honestly smoking it anyway is worth the risk of getting into trouble but I care for my mom to much to drag her down with me. I don’t see one thing wrong with medical marijuana if someone needs this healing herb for Why not let them if people can use heroin like opiates for pain why not let people who need it use non addictive marijuana. Unli I would like to know whats wrong with me and if i have akathsia or a akathsia mimicing disorder is there anything that can help rid me of the symptoms

Public Comments

1. you dont seriously expect anyone to read that novel do you? just by glancing at every tenth line or so, I got the impression you have a drug problem... stop doing drugs... drugs are bad... I didnt read enough to say you need rehab, but thats one way to go about quitting.
2. Move to cali. the weed out here is great. i use it to help with my bi polar. im sorry for all your trouble. i really hope you find a way to get some good help Try asking about Xanex or Zanex (not sure how its spelled). Its a pretty good anti anxiety medication.