Hypoxia and Medicine

Should a parent of a 17 year old with insomnia try to force her to sleep?

For the past year I've struggled with horrible insomnia because of a medical condition that caused drenching night sweats and this horrific, tormenting itch all over my body under my skin (so it could never be scratched away), and was finally diagnosed over the summer with the medical condition that was causing it all. I would love to just fall into bed and sleep like a normal person, but that's not what happens. When I'm lying down the sweating seems to be worse, and it's very hard for me to fall asleep even when I'm exhausted. I used to just stay up all night working on my homework or art so at least my mind could stay distracted and I wouldn't just be lying still feeling horrible and going mental, but my dad has freaking tried to give me a bedtime even though I'm 17 years old, have already graduated from high school (I'm home this year dealing with the medical thing), and *cannot* sleep! He's talked to my doctor about it, and he knows I'm not just some little kid wanting to stay up all night. Still, though, he's locked the room I use for my art so I can't go in there after 11 and wants me to turn off the internet, TV, phone and all that, and stop reading and working on things by midnight and just.....do nothing. He wants me to stay in my room, and "clear my mind." Which is torture, because it's my body that is annoying me. This isn't a case of mind over matter! I can't just make my body do what I want it to and fall asleep! So now I am about to get booted off the internet even though I won't be able to sleep anyway, and just being here in my room is going to drive me insane. I get the importance of sleep for my health, but it's not something that I can just make happen. I'm so freaking frustrated by my parents. Am I really being the unreasonable one here or are they? I mean, seriously. I don't know what else to do at this point. Advice?

Public Comments

1. I'm sure he's just trying to help, but you need to sit down and explain what you're going through. Maybe pull up some research on insomnia for him. I've read that it's worse to lie awake in bed than to get up and do something because you're brain will then disassociate your bed with sleeping (hence, I'm up at 2:44am playing on the internet). If he still doesn't listen you could both go talk to your doctor again and get his/her suggestion for helping you sleep (or making your dad understand). And, you can always sneak a book under your mattress and wait for your dad to fall asleep-I guarantee he won't want to be up all night many nights in a row!
2. It seems like the are being fairly unreasonable, and my instinct tells me that they were probably always totalitarians. My suggestion, you're 17, you're an artist, go to college far far away. If that is not an option for you, make it one. Apply for scholarships and grants, do what ever you can. If need be move to a friends house. You're father's request that you "clear your mind" and try to sleep is clearly unreasonable if you have a medical condition causing this problem. What I would like to know however is what is the medical condition, and did your doctor mention any treatment methods. In the meantime, buy yourself a flashlight and a good book, and if he has anything to say about it, tell him to go to hell, as you'll be 18 soon and what he wants you to do will be irrelevant and legally unenforceable. Conversely, you could try to reason with your parents. Of course don't expect this approach to work right away, but eventually you may be able to break them, granted it will be hard to be clever if you aren't getting any sleep. Good Luck. TheGanjaGuru, http://theganjaguru.blogspot.com
3. My advice would be to follow what your doctor suggests. If your parents guidance is conflicting with the doctor's, you should seek a second opinion from another doctor. After that, if your parents still do not agree with the doctors, I would suggest taking up a quiet activity that resembles sleep--such as meditating. It's a great natural way to slow down and repress some of the processes of your body that would normally be slowed/stopped during sleep anyway. If that still doesn't work, try nyquil.
4. Tell him he is going against a lot of well-established "sleep hygiene" advice. You should, ideally, use your bedroom for sleep only, and if you are not falling asleep, you're supposed to get up. There're a lot of insomnia books out there; I would suggest seeing if you can't get your father to read one with you. Or perhaps make an appointment with a sleep specialist, and drag him along. He is obviously trying to help, so have some patience, but he is way out of line here. You are far too old for a bedtime, and, speaking as an insomniac, having more stress associated with sleep is exactly what you don't need. Good luck.
5. i agree with the whole getting out of the house thing completely, but because some one else already suggested it and it would be very unhelpful for me to suggest it again ill add a new idea ;) Get a job working night shift. It gets you OUT of the house and may even help you save a little money to get away to college and be free. Yup youll be exhausted, which in your case may not be so bad. as a fellow insomniac (no where near as bad symptoms as you have) I salute you.
6. You can get medication for your insomnia.
7. The reason I can't sleep is I have the inability to "clear my mind." I'm sure your father just wants to help, but there's no way (in my mind) that a person can force a struggling insomniac to go to sleep. If I were you, I'd just read a book despite what your father says, then try.